I'm to reason for everything that hurts...

I'm lost, is this what I really want? Is this the road that I really want? Well I want but I don't want to hurt anyone in the aftermath. Karma always have it's way to bite me back no matter how far I run or where I hide.

When I'm gone, I guess everything will be alright? Everyone will be happy, I pray to God. Guess I'm scare? Afraid of losing my mind, I always say this is the last time but yet I keep going back to my sinful ways.

I need help, my soul is corrupted by what make me for who I am. I keep talk about my life, but who will help me save my life? Sometimes I do have dying wish, thinking that the world will be better if Raymond wasn't around. No one will gain pain, no one will shed a tear.

I already give my best but how much do you one from me? Hear me out, I'm losing it! Each day I just keep wanting to quit, thoughts of smoking is starting again. Slowly coming up on me and bite me on my fucking neck.

Stress, yea that's right I'm stress! Everyone deserves a second chance but mine was already gone. No chance for me left to redo myself, how I wish I could do so. I make my choice and it's a mistake. How I wish I could have a pill to take so I can forget about everything.

Forget about those worry in life, forget those that I hurt till to me and forget who I am. I'm the main source of the pain and problem. Guess it's right when they say what goes around comes around.

I'm stuck in my own mind, can't get out. I lost my ways, I lost my hope. That's why I start to pray again. Hoping that I will be better and out on for the dark place where I fall into again.

I try to keep it real, keeping everything to myself. Never did I share those with my friends, I just blog about it. Wonder when was the last time I truly laugh or smile, not just outside but my heart and my mind.

I starting to fade away from this place call hopes and dreams. The past is back, the truth is seal. I look up and is just me, alone walking this dark road. I'm lost in my own world that I created, I'm going insane. Turning into a madman in me, I'm falling yet again but this time the pain is worst. It looks like it won't heal no more, I lost my voice in this dark place. I can never shout for help, lost in this maze. Love have ended, the hate have started...

And now I quote "Sometimes death await you, but you never know when it's your turn..."