Dream

Hi everyone, never blog last night. Don't feel like it, don't even know why but lately I just want to turn on my "EMO" mood now and then. How lucky I was that my Ipod is there every time I feel like being "EMO", maybe I should stop it? But I can't help it.

Last night, he came into my dream once again. The one that I lose back then, the one that I wish was there every time I smile. Last year when I'm near my downfall, he were there in my dream telling me not to give up. And this time round it's the same but everything and the place where it happen in the dream is totally different.

He told me that a lot of things and how I wish I can just tell someone than just typing out in my blog. All I know is that he ask me don't give up again and also the same he say he will still be looking down on me up there. I'm happy to see him again, say it's weird or scary that a person that pass away came into your dream or what so ever.

Well I don't really care at all. The one thing I know is that I feel more better now, less stress now. Tomorrow will be the day I step into ITE and have a new life, also I will put my past aside.

And now I quote "Why cry yourself to sleep when you can cut yourself to sleep with bleeding love?"

Keep Me Safe

Hello everyone! I know it's weird but lately I keep blogging? Well just wanna blog about something that's all. Few more days left till school start! Gosh I'm still in holiday mood and my sleeping time totally change!

Well guess I need to learn to sleep early already? Have you ever have those feeling that you want to talk to that person but you know that he or she won't reply and that give you a fuck up feeling? I have, a lot!

Lately I just feel like turning on my "EMO" mood again! Oh my god Raymond is turning "EMO" again! Maybe she is the reason why? Or I just listen too much Post-Hardcore songs? Who knows, not even I know.

Suddenly feel like smoking again. For those who know me knows that I only smoke when I'm stress, don't ask me why I do that course I just want to give me a reason not to smoke. And yes the Raymond that's always happy go lucky is stress?! Well I'm a human too, I do have feelings.

Guess I'm stress up about ITE? Having new things around me and also her, how I wish she will know how much I feel about this. Love do hurts a lot and I learn it the hard way. Do I stand a chance? The answer is no, I don't have to ask her at all I just know it. A guy like me will never get a girl who love me as a whole. Alright I will stop here.

And now I quote "Don't need to apologize to me silly, I'm the one getting the heartbreak not you."

Note to God: I never say this but God please wash my sins away, I never ask much from you and I know I'm a sinner but please enough is enough! Just RAIN on me and wash away my sins as I am just a MAN. In the back of my head the Devil speaks to me. More sins to be ahead of me, but I'm trying my best to turn my life around. Well just turn my life better and I promise that I will be good, but never ever take my family, friends and Adelphia away from me! I need help... I need a listener... I need someone... I need you...

Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows

Take me, hate me
But you can't make me come clean
So stop telling me I'm not the man you should believe

If dying is your way out
Then count me in I'm coming
Maybe you'll difference me
And I'm so used to being a coward
It's all I've ever been
I quit before I win

Hurt me once, yet you hurt me twice

Love is in the air lately for everyone I guess? Sometimes, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I can't really express myself when I'm sad or angry? All I do is put a mask and show everyone that I'm happy. Then I blog about my feelings, that's what I do best all the time.

Is it me or just that almost every couple have their own little world, my friends and my sweet parents. Someday I wish I can have a girl that love me for who I am, not what I am. See me as a whole not part by part, but I think that the someday will never happen to me.

I learn my lesson, last time I treat love as a game and a toy after I broke up with my 5th ex. And now I really got burn by it, never thought this will happen to me. But if I can change anything last year, I will only change my point of view in love. I regretted but what can I do now? There's nothing I can do at all, I can only stand I watch how each of them walk pass me. Being hurt by me or I got hurt by them.

Who knows if they read my blog? Well I want to take this chance and say, I'm sorry for all the things I done, all the hearts I break and all the feelings I hurt. I learn my lesson, and now I got hurt as the end result.

Guess I could never trust love again until a girl that is brave enough to steal my heart away from me. That's me now, how I see and feel about love. Just hope it won't end like last time.

Oh, I don't know if you will read this but ya, you change really. You not who I used to know anymore? You like clubbing now and hanging around with your new friends. I know I have no rights so I'm not gonna do anything. It's your life, your freedom. All I want is to wish you well.

And now I quote "I'm no prince charming but for you, let's pretend I found your slipper and we'll stay out past midnight."

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
She's the one that makes me fall.
Fairytales and lullabies come to life as we say goodnight.
Mirror, mirror speak to me.
If this is just a fantasy,
I don't mind cause I've never felt so alive.

Up, up here we go

Credit to Millie Ng for taking this photo, why I use this? Well it's purple and I love purple colour and it look nice!

Few more days and I will be going to study in ITE, kinda of worry you know? Like will I make enemy or friends? Well I know that not to trust any only there much, they are just friends in school but outside we just know each other that's all?

Hopefully everything will turn out alright and I wish all my friends that are going to sec5 all the best. Going to cut my hair today, well it's Adelphia outing? Since all member of Adelphia will be there. Will take photos of the hand sign that we made for Adelphia.

I sure miss everyone, all those times that we used to had. Dam those are crazy some crazy days. Oh well I will blog soon? Ending my post here. You make my life crystal clear.

And now I quote "When a girl is jealous , it's normal but when a guy is jealous, he really love her."

New year, new start

Hello everyone, it's 2011! Yes it's a new year and a lot things gonna come ahead of us. See the photo up there? I was with them on my new year eve and dam I got a hell load of fun. I enjoy myself and I hope they do too.

As the new year start, all of us will not have much time to meet up with each other and have fun. But still our friendship is will be strong, I will never throw away my friendships with them at all!

I love all of them and no matter what I will fight and don't give up. So what's my resolution? Well it's easy just to do real good for my ITE and go poly and lastly will always be with my family and friends. That's what I'm want now, nothing much.

So whatever happen in 2010 is the past, sad or happy that's just memories. Alright, I will end here, no quote today but something different.

We are all the same
We are strong together
We are the brotherhood
We are the children of Adelphia

Raymond, Lucas, Kevin, Kelvin , Clarence